Wednesday, 5 January 2011

Time flies?

It's been 3 weeks since my last post. Almost a month since the birth of my son. There have been a lot of surprises, a lot of sweet moments, and a smidge of regret.

I'll be honest. There have been times when I have looked at my small son, and my not-so-small daughter and thought to myself 'I made a mistake. What was I thinking, having another child?'. These moments were largely in the first 2 weeks, when my hormones were unstable and I was struggling with Boy-zooka's weight-gain. I certainly don't feel that way anymore, or most of the time.


At first, Boy-zooka appeared to be doing just fine. He was lazy, he was a little jaundiced, but otherwise he seemed just fine. He wasn't fine. At his three day check up, the midwife noted that he was losing weight. This was the start of a 3 week battle to turn our son's nose-dive around. It was exhausting, disheartening, and it just about broke me. Every other day a midwife would be at our home to weigh our small son. Every other day, he lost a few more ounces. We supplemented his nursing sessions with expressed breast milk, he lost weight. We fed him more frequently, he lost weight. He would fight the breast so forcefully that I would give up after 45 minutes of attempting to get him latched - often I would be in tears, every time I felt rejected. Finally, we gave him breast milk in a bottle. He loved it. I cried through every bottle feeding, and finally decided to cut him off the bottle altogether since it was making his already poor nursing skills even more lax - but he got what he needed from those bottles. He started nursing better and better. On Christmas Eve we saw his first weight gain - just as I was about to give up on nursing altogether. In the end, Boy-zooka needed to nurse every hour or hour and a half and he required a top-up of 1 ounce of expressed milk in order to gain weight. On his three week birthday, he finally surpassed his birth weight by a whole 2 ounces. Tomorrow he will be weighed again. I'm both interested and wholly worried to find out what the scale says. This boy would rather sleep than eat. He would rather sleep than anything. This would be fantastic if 1) his weight gain were acceptable and 2) he didn't abandon this ideology every night around 3am.


The fight to nurse my baby certainly came as a surprise to me. When Sweet Pea was born, she took right to nursing - there was no fight, no learning curve . . . nothing. Just a hungry baby and an eager new mom. Boy-zooka, however . . . he feels differently.
Other surprises:
Boys pee A LOT. A LOT! Every time he pees in his own face, Boy-zooka gets really pissed off (Pissed! Ha!). He once peed in his own ear. It was rather amusing.
Sweet Pea loves her brother an awful lot. More than I thought she would. She loves him so much that I fear for his safety. She has no idea how destructive and rough she is!
Laundry for 4 is infinitely more voluminous than laundry for 3. It helps that one of us pees or pukes on everything. It's shocking. Absolutely shocking.
Days with 2 kids go by so fast. I'm always changing, feeding, or snuggling someone. There is so much to do that adding anything (like making dinner or doing the dishes) just seems ill-advised at this juncture. I'm trying to get out more, so we're going to have to figure this out and fast. I've been able to figure out some knitting time, and I get a shower almost every day now . . . so that's progress.
Recovery for baby #2 has been a complete nightmare. I didn't expect that. It seems that due to the speed of Boy-zooka's delivery, some stuff was really messed up. I still feel bruised and tender in places - and it was almost a month ago now. Apparently firing a baby down the birth canal is less of a good idea than easing said baby down the birth canal. Duly noted.


Sweet moments are primarily on Sweet Pea. She says and does the most charming things. She gives Boy-zooka the most tender, loving kisses I have ever seen. She desperately wants to play with him.


Some of the sweet moments are just between my Boy-zooka and I.


With one month of living in the big world just a few days away for my wee boy, I finally finished his blanket. When I gave it to him, he immediately pulled it up to his mouth for tasting. Apparently it passed the test.


It passes my test as well. It's a hand-knit I can be proud of. The FO is lovely, although I don't look forward to blocking it with each washing. The lace chart just about made me lose my mind - the symbols and legend just never really came together for me.


It's remarkably tiny, and if I were to do it again, I'd likely buy a third skein of the yarn and go for a full sized blanket. That said, it's a great size for car seat cuddling or snuggling in the swing. The smaller size also makes it great for carting around. I hope he likes it!


etcgirl said...

Oh, honey - come here so I can hug you. I walked some of that road - second dd did not learn to nurse until she was almost 3 months old, quite a shock after the first one took to the boob like a duck to water. The rest - how to keep one from running away while you wrestle the other into a snowsuit, for example - it just comes, like it did for all the other mums who went and added 1+1. ::smile:: You'll get there, and not a moment before you're ready.

Take good care of your parts, missus. You'll have need of 'em yet. :)

I'll tuck baby butter in my thoughts, to have him grow big - not too big, and not too soon, though. I am still utterly charmed by sweet pea.


Alrischa said...

And just think. When they're teenagers, they will have the gall to find us annoying! lol.

He's very beautiful, and I'm glad things are getting sorted out for you both. My first son prefered sleep over food, too, and the bottle was a big blessing for both of us (when I had the nerve to stand up to everybody and use it 3 months in). Sounds like you're doing everything right!

Kaye said...

Yup. Been there as well. I guess I was "lucky" that it was Chunky that a hard time nursing. So I was fully prepared for Moochie if he wasn't a good nurser. And with his teeney tongue, I was sure he'd be no good at it. Surprise surprise, he got it.
You think you've got it down w/#1 and then #2 comes along and has to be so different--the nerve! Ha ha!

Lisa said...

Amy, I can't begin to tell you how much I admire you for sticking to your guns when it comes to nursing Boy-zooka. (And also what painful memories this brings back.) You are made of some seriously strong stuff. I got such pressure to supplement Sam with bottle and formula because of his unacceptable weight gain, and I just never seemed to manage to produce enough to supplement him with my own milk. I don't think we ever perfected his latch because I had sore nipples the whole damn time... plus the expense of formula, and bottles to wash, yay. And I didn't even have a second child to care for at the time. So, GO AMY!! Boy-zooka's gorgeous and I am rooting for both of you big time. (Plus I found still more clothes for him... no rush to drop them off though, they're bigger sizes.)

Anonymous said...

WELCOME BACK!!! I'm so glad to see you blogging again and to hear you have a minute to knit now and then is a bonus!! Wonderful...and yup!! he is a beautiful wee boy our "little man". mommapea

Mama said...

I never needed them for Buddy, but you can get 'pee pee tee-pee's' that cover them during diaper changes, to direct anything downwards!!

One of my favourite cards I got when Buddy was born was "all about little boys"... I forget what most of it was, but the punch line... "One thing is for sure... you will get wet!" stuck in my brain!!