Wednesday, 6 October 2010

How do I do it?

Last trimester woes. This go around . . . well, I'm seriously feeling it.

It doesn't help that my employer is pulling some bullshit stuff lately - not allowing me to cash out my time bank for prenatal appointments, giving me a hard time about all my pee breaks, putting us through constant changes and uncertainty, etc, etc. I'm stressed. I'm at the end of my rope. And I have 11 weeks to go.

Then there's the usual stuff: tired, immense, sore as hell. The kicks and thumps that were once awe-inspiring and exciting are now painful and a little terrifying (what exactly am I gestating?), hungry but so inclined to heart burn that I'm afraid to ingest anything. I don't mean to complain. I know there are many, many other women the world over who would gladly take my place - but today I'm feeling so low. And I have 11 weeks to go.

And there's parenting a toddler. Sweet Pea really is such a good girl. She's the best kid I could ask for. But I'm over-tired, spread thin, and low on patience. I want to be a great, patient and always loving mommy to her, but I'm finding her antics difficult to take some days. I know that after the baby arrives, I'll be just as tired, but much less hormonal. And I have 11 weeks left to go.

I'm just done, y'know? Done. If I could start my maternity leave without being detrimental, I would. On the other hand, it's beneficial to work as long as possible.

How do I get through this?


Alrischa said...

Last time I was in your shoes I had a 1year old and a 2year old. I got through by neglecting them badly (ie. let them watch cartoons as much as possible!!!) Don't know how you can work. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

It feels pretty weird with a baby and a toddler, too. You feel a bit like you neglect them both, but you soon realize that what they miss from you they get from having a sibling. You'll get through it today just like you did yesterday. Some days are impossible, but at least they only last 24hrs.

Tracy and her crew said...

One day at a time. My pregnancy with my second (a boy as well) was a blur since I was working, taking care of my 2 year old daughter, potty training her, and my husband was 700 kms away in military training. It's hard. I understand.

Take it one day at a time. Don't chide yourself for not be as attentive as you used to be or as patient or as active. It is what it is and this too shall pass. In a year or two years it will be a faint memory and you will be glad you went through it. May not feel like it at the time but it always works out in the end.

melosa said...

Hang in there! I know EXACTLY how you feel though. I am also in my last trimester (9 1/2) weeks to go and I have a 17 month old running around the house. Some days are just tough. I'm tired, she's busy, and I have way too much to do. I do stay-at-home, but I am coming to the realization that this is a harder job than when I went to work. (Much more physical.) I hope that things start to look up for you, and although it doesn't feel like it right now, the time is going to fly by.

jennyp said...

Sounds like vacation is well deserved. I don't really know how I can help you out, but if I can, let me know.

((gentle hugs))