And now it's June.

I suck at this blogging thing, lately.
Life is pretty crazy and hectic, and quite frankly blogging is one of the very last things on my mind these days.

However, Sweet Pea had a dance recital just yesterday. Something this adorable HAS to be shared!

There was a rule against photography in the actual recital. Suffice it to say it was just as terrible and adorable as expected. I wish I could show you.

We are so proud of our big girl and her fearless performance! I can't believe she'll be 5 just next month.

Introspection.

Last night at work, there was an 'incident'. At the time it was kind of terrifying . . . we were just sitting there taking calls, when the building was suddenly surrounded by police cars, vans, etc with their lights on. There were search lights, and the swat team running around the building with shotguns. It was unusual, and exciting, and caused a stir . . . but I wasn't feeling too alarmed. Then, there were people coming back from breaks visibly shaken - the police were in the lobbies, pulling guns on anyone coming in or out. This was disturbing. Then, the police were coming in and we weren't allowed to leave our floor or work areas, and then . . . then I started to freak out a little.

Thankfully, we live in modern times. I was able to text message Mr. Wonderful, who pulled up an online police scanner. He gave me updates via text as he heard them, and I was able to breath a little easier.

This morning, I read the police report. Someone called in stating that they had been threatened with a gun in the underground parking garage. When the police arrived (the main station is just across the street - it took no time at all) there was no sign of suspects or the person who had called.

I work for a communications giant taking calls in their customer care centre. This company isn't particularly well-liked, and of course as soon as there's a rumour of a gunman in the building, everyone goes bananas. Someone is here to kill us all! OMG, we're all gonna die!
Usually I can shrug it off, but then usually there's no massive police response lending credibility to the flailing of my fellow employees.
So, while I sat there (quietly) watching the police and their shotguns moving around my place of work, I found it impossible not to dwell on the end of my life. If I died unexpectedly - right now - what would I leave behind? And I realized that even if it happened, I think I'd leave good things behind. My children both have lots of things I've hand-made for them. I've had my moments of screaming and yelling, but we've also shared a lot of snuggles and made some really positive moments. My poor husband would have no idea what to do with all of my stuff, but it would be addressed in time, I'm sure.
Would my family know I love them? Yes. I don't think they'd doubt it for a minute. Sweet Pea might even remember me a little. My Boober boy wouldn't, and that makes me really sad . . . The only thing I think is lacking is photos. There are really not a lot of photos of me.
I think, as far as regrets go, not leaving behind a lot of photos is a minor one.

In the end, it's unimportant - the 'threat' was contained. I'm glad to know that the police take a call like this one so seriously. We were really in the safest place we could be -- behind locked doors, with armed police officers in every lobby and stairwell. It's unsettling to know that (apparently) someone made it into the building in the first place . . . but I'm not really surprised. The parking garage doors stay open for far too long after cars drive out. It wouldn't be hard to get in. Getting past the lobby should prove more difficult. No one made it to us or our floor -- although whether there was actually any threat from an armed individual remains to be seen.
It certainly created quite a stir -- and I was extra happy to have my knitting with me for distraction and productivity purposes.

So, I'm back to work.

Here in Canada, when you have a baby, you can take a year of parental leave. I found after having Sweet Pea that the year was great, but I just wasn't ready to be apart from her yet. I had a rough time acclimating to my work environment. But - it happened, and we all got used to it.
And then along came Boober. Boober had a rough start. It was a long time between his birth, and the point where I felt like I could really sit back and enjoy him. It had always been our intention that I would try for an additional year of leave, but I found that when December 2011 came I was so unwilling and not at all ready to return to work that I just don't know what I would have done if they had called me back right away.
But I was lucky. I got an additional year of unpaid leave. And so I didn't have to leave Boober until just a few days ago. At first when they called me back in, I pretty heart-broken. And then I felt unbelievably guilty about feeling heartbroken. I know there are parents all over the place who would give just about anything to have 2 repercussion-free years home with their little ones. But still, as hard I tried to just be grateful for the 25.5 months I spent home with my babies, I couldn't stop a few tears from springing to my eyes as I thought about their days with a babysitter. And then we made another decision -- that I would switch to part-time employment. I applied, my employer granted the application, and starting tomorrow I will be a part-time employee.
This means I'll be working some truly horrible shifts -- 4pm - midnight. But it also means that I get to be home. With my children. Still involved in their daily lives. And not paying a fortune in daycare. Which is great, because for the shift I worked on Thursday after all costs I went to work for a few dollars. And that just stings.

So yeah. I'm back to work. The return this time was just as anti-climactic as the last time. And now I need lots of crockpot dinner recipes for Mr. Wonderful . . . 3 nights a week he's on his own, and I want to make it easier on him!

That awkward post . . .

I haven't blogged here since September. A lot has happened since September. I have considered, many a time, what this post might look like. Will I try to catch up? Will I just ignore the lapse and move on? And every time I started to think about it, it was just too much and the post was going to be so huge, and so I would push it to the back of my mind again. That sums up October, November, and December.

Here's what I think: let's hit the highlights, and just move on.

Sweet Pea wanted to be 90's Xmen cartoon Storm for Halloween. I over-thought it, but she wound up with a pretty fab costume.

Boober was a tiger. It was awesome!

This year, we opted to let the kids gorge on their candy. It worked. The candy was gone within 2 days.

November: there was a whole bunch of rain and crap weather in November. A few days were mild enough for fun of the following variety:

October and November were so jam-packed with doll-making and shipping that there just isn't much in the way of photography. 35 dolls and toys were made and shipped.

December: A certain little boy turned 2

This year, we chose to take the family to Great Wolf Lodge for Boober's birthday rather than deal with the hubbub of a big birthday party or two. (Even if we invite no one but family, we still have over 20 attendees for birthday bashes. It's just too much.) So instead we packed up and drove off with our little family. It was awesome! I would definitely do it again! Sadly, I have virtually no pictures becaue 1) being a first-timer, I was unaware of the photo opps at breakfast, tooling around in the lobby, etc, and 2) there is no way in HELL I am bringing my camera into a water park.

And then it was Christmas. I have 346 images on my memory card from Christmas. Here is a selection of my faves, from our home, Christmas morning.

I assure you, Mr. Wonderful was also there, but the photo I took of him opening his gift is among the least flattering photos I've ever seen of him. Out of respect for my husband, I will definitely keep that under wraps.

There was also some really great cousins time in there -- see?

My kids have some awesome cousins. The big boy you see here is 10, and far too old to play with toddlers - but he sat and played patiently with Boober for a good long stretch. The big girl in the above photo is 15. She played with the littles for hours. It's so wonderful when big kids make the time to show little kids that they're important and cool and fun to be with too.

We also had the younger cousins over this week, but I didn't think to take any photos. They were adorable, all playing together.

And finally - I found some retailers online that I really think are awesome, and fun, and deserve some attention and support.
Lil' Black Cloud - hand-made silver jewellery. Adorable, nicely finished, and the packaging is fab.
Odalee Fibers - hand dyed and hand painted yarns. Not just in fingering weight, either! Great colours - I had such a hard time choosing just one that I wound up with two.


And that is about how far I want to go with updates. Hopefully I can be better at blogging now that it's not stressing me out to catch up!

Sweet Pea Goes to School.

Sweet Pea is confident. Fearless. Ready for any challenge -- given proper prep time and steps. And school was no different.

In the spring, she started asking when she would go to school. It seemed so far off.
And then the pages on the calendar turned and turned, and it got closer and closer. And then the calendar said "SEPTEMBER" and all the markers I had given Sweet Pea for when school would start had been met. Then, the badgering began in earnest.

There were moments of abject terror where she insisted she would never go to school. There were moments of such incredibly poor behaviour that I just couldn't wait to send her off to school. There were moments of excitement, when she sat with me and shared all her hopes for school - new friends, a best friend named Kayla, colouring time, painting, water tables, her lunch bag, etc. And really, the excitement outweighed the trepidation. But when I found her last week, laying awake in her bed well after lights out, worrying her blankets, and she confided her fears . . . I knew she needed a little more prep. She was worried that after she got off the bus, she wouldn't know what to do.
"Well, you'll go play on the playground."
"With who?"
"I don't know. You'll have to make some new friends at school."
"And then what will happen?"
"You'll hear a bell, or a tone, and you'll line up with your class. Then your teacher will take you inside to your classroom."
Her questions became pretty pointed. So last Friday, we took a trip to her bus stop, and then to the school to observe. Since last Friday, Sweet Pea has been a bundle of excitement. This morning, she got on the bus all by herself and went to school. She insisted that she do it alone. I offered to drive her for her first day, but she declined.

A little pre-school playtime. 

 There was only a moment's hesitation as she got ready for school.
"Will I miss you, mom?"
"Maybe. You'll have lots to do, though. You'll have fun."
"Will you miss me?"
"Every minute of every hour that you are at school, I will miss you. But you will come home this afternoon, and we will snuggle and talk about all the wonderful things you did and the friends you met."

And then we headed outside for the short walk to the bus stop. It didn't take long before my Sweet Pea was thoroughly annoyed with all the picture taking. I only got 4 shots of her at the house -- and one of them has a Boober running through it.

 She still seems so little to me. Will I always be this nervous about letting go? I know she's capable, and there's no denying she's confident! But . . . that's my little girl, in this great big world full of danger.

Heart-melting moment at the bus stop. Hugs and kisses. These two love each other so much. In fact, Boober was the first one to break down when we put our girl on the bus. He misses his sister.

And this is my favourite shot. I think this will be her quintessential 'first day of school' photo. Bouncing with excitement as the bus approaches, happy face, clenched hands. She was so pumped to go that I didn't get a hug & kiss, or even a 'bye mom'. This is the curse of raising confident kids, right? It's hard to feel needed when . . . well, you're not. Not for everything, anyway. And I'm glad for it, I really am - I know she'll do great today and come home full of stories and excitement . . . and that parting was so much easier than the days when I would leave her crying in the foyer at daycare in the toddler years. But . . . 'bye, baby. Sob.

2 months, 1 post

This summer has been busy, fun-filled, and remarkably active. Not much time for blogging, I'm afraid.

Boober fell off a bed and landed on his ear.





I made Sweet Pea a tarantula dress with one yard of fabric and my brain! No pattern.




Boober took advantage of the Ravellenic games to practice his mad knitting skills!




He also practiced being extra adorable!



There has, of course, been day-to-day business to conduct. Eating, playing, painting the fence.



I have about a zillion blog-worthy pics, but . . . overload.

There was also some out-of-the-ordinary stuff. The Children's Museum, a birthday party, daycamp for Sweet Pea . . . someday I'll catch up.

In the past 2 months, I have also made: 3 dragons, 3 sheep, 2 monkeys, 5 Waldorf dolls, 5 soft sculpture dolls, and 2 outfits without dolls.

See? Busy.

Boober's best day yet!

This weekend was unbelievably busy chez nous. Saturday was Sweet Pea's first ever public performance - a 10 minute KinderKids gymnastics demo. She did great! No nerves, no falls, one very happy little girl.

Sweet Pea and her medal. I've never seen her so proud of something before.

Ta Daaaaa!

Immediately following her demo, Sweet Pea and her nana packed up and took off for an afternoon of good times. She went to the movies, checked out ducks in the park, and hung out with her cousins.
Mr. Wonderful went to a friend's cottage for a big send-off.
This left Boober and I to our own devices. He was pretty okay with that - because he had the best day EVER!!












He painted with water, chased a bunny, messed around in the yard, went for a LOOONG walk up and down the street, pausing to stuff storm drains with vegetation and poke bugs whenever he wanted, for as long as he wanted. He really enjoyed himself.
I really enjoyed him too.